Feeling grateful

Well, this week is my first week back fully working out since surgery. I absolutely love working out again. It will take time to get to where I was pre-surgery but I’m ready for the hard work!

I’ve got a bump under my right knee with pain when I workout. I am using a patella band when I workout which is helping with that. Hope it keeps helping!

I am currently having a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Having my two girls home from college has been a treat. They go back tomorrow.

My husband, the girls and I went out for lunch yesterday. That was wonderful as well. I actually wore my hair down for once. 😆 Then when I got home it was right back up in a messy bun. For some reason I feel more “me” when it’s in a bun. Likely because that’s normally my daily go to. 😬 Maybe I should work on that…

Today is another Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws and then playing scrabble. Hubby’s gramma is almost 96years old and still loves to play!

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!


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Feeling renewed!

I am now 5 weeks post-op. One more week and I’m free of restrictions. This last week I was able to work out, just with lighter weights and be careful of the core since thats where my operation was. Today’s workout was a game changer for the mind. I am ready for the comeback!

Woke up at 5am just ready for the day. I was able to run longer and lift more that I have in 5 weeks. My mind was in it, music spot on. What a freaking great way to start a Saturday! When I had to stop working out I was up to 3 pull-ups. I successfully did 1 pull up this morning and held it. I can’t tell you how excited I am!

So that’s really it. It’s been a long road however I’m ready to get back in the game. I’m on my way to becoming the badass inside and out that I’ve always wanted to be!

Thanks for reading and always supporting me! Jackie 😍

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I am strong! Well…kinda. 😉

Good Saturday morning! I am feeling internally strong this morning. Up at 5am, laundry over to hang on the line today and loving my morning ☕️.

I say I am strong and then “kinda” because I am internally strong but externally not quite so. hello-Flabby! Tuesday is one month after my surgery. I haven’t done much working out at all with the restrictions I’m on. I did walk on my treadmill and did do some 5lb weight exercises, just ones I sit down for and am not pulling on the stomach area. Did some calf raises also. I am happy I was able to do even those. The 5lb weights just started about a week ago. Tuesday I can start jogging again and keep going with light weights. 2 more weeks and then I can fully workout. I’m excited I’m over half way there! I haven’t gained any weight over the last month but definitely lost muscle. But hey-I’ll get that back just as soon as I can! 💯%

So that’s my update. Not really much of one. I’m excited Tuesday I can jog ( then hopefully run ) again and do light weights and more exercises! Then in 2 weeks I’m freeeeeee of restrictions!

Can’t wait!! Morning mental zen and exercise took over my daily drinking. I did think about it during this past month. “Hell if I can’t workout, just screw it all until I can again.” That was one of my thoughts. You know that all or Nothing bullshit mindset. I fought it though and so glad I did! I like to remind anyone that reads this I’m not fully sober. I may get there someday though. For right now I do drink on occasion but it’s not even close to daily and it’s not controlling me.

I’m super freaking excited to get back to shape and that’s what my mind is on now. 💪🦈

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Happy Halloween!

Over the years I have been a huge Halloween girl. I always loved to dress up and always threw a fun party.

I haven’t had a party in a few years and honestly I don’t plan on hosting another. At almost 50 years old, if feels like more of a chore to me. I also don’t drink like I used to and that was a big part of that party.

Dressing up seems like a chore as well these days. Kind of a weird feeling to have such a different outlook on Halloween. Maybe it’s also due to my kids are off to college now and not home dressing up as well.

However I have been thinking of dressing up as one of my favorite horror movie characters, Annabelle. She’s actual a vintage doll that the husband kindly purchased for his expectant wife. However, Annabelle turns evil. I would not have to buy anything for this as I have it all on hand. Yesterday late afternoon I decided to go for it. Many of you know I’m a huge horror movie fan. Here’s a picture of the Annabelle doll. The picture doesn’t show but the dress has red bows on it.

Next is a picture of me as Annabelle. I had trouble with the bangs as I’m certainly not cutting bangs so that was tricky. I had fun dressing up, even if not going anywhere.

Happy Halloween everyone! Thanks always for reading. ❤️ Jackie

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Well its 10:37pm and I just got the kitchen under control. My parents were going to come for dinner last night but my mom had a bad reaction to her COVID booster so I said yes to coming tonight.

I usually don’t do work nights with company. I also cooked for my hubby’s Gramma today as well. She’s 95 and still loves food.

Why am I writing this? I am whipped. I also have a hard work load tomorrow. I’ve sat down and next am going to just go to bed.

I did not drink so it’s nothing to do with that. I just need to learn to know my boundaries. Plus, I’m still under restrictions from surgery.

My parents have no clue how tired I am. I’m very good at not letting things like that show. I enjoyed my time with them immensely. Just big meals need to be a weekend.

So I’m going to head for bed now, get some good sleep and plan an easy dinner for tomorrow night and not stress myself out. Then get to bed at my normal bedtime which is an hour earlier than tonight. Yes I’ve gotten to the age where I am planning out my following nights bedtime. 😆

I’m not even sure why I decided to blog this tonight, maybe putting it out there will help me follow through with an easier evening tomorrow.

Thanks for reading my rambles tonight. Another side note is I had to have surgery on my forehead a bit ago due to cancer spreading close to my eye. I thought I did all I could to see what the costs would be but of course the final bill was way more. I’ve been paying every month on it but they decided to send me a letter today, they are sending it to collections. I always thought no matter what if you were paying on a medical bill, they could not do that. Not so my friends. My husband already pays over $6 per hour for crap health insurance. And, we all know I just had umbilical hernia surgery.

Tomorrow is a new day! ✔️😃🍁

XO Jackie

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Going back to work & a special gift.

First a sweet neighbor surprised me with this remembrance block she made. It’s my late doggie that this family absolutely adored for 14 years. I could still cry thinking of how sweet she was and she’s been gone over a year. I absolutely love this gift and will keep my girl’s spirit lighted up! ❤️

Monday is the day I’m returning to the workforce after about 2 weeks off. Doctor said to take 1.5 weeks off, but I decided on almost 2. ( Everywhere you read online it says to take 2 weeks off. )I’m glad I did as I feel I’m at a place in healing to return.

I’m a morning girl and a busy girl. It did take some adjusting to not be working and to have to take it slow. I still got up at 5am and kept my work hours routine. I’m also very glad I worked out right up to the surgery day. Having arm and leg muscles helped a lot and made me be a little more mobile as I could use them in doing things.

Here’s some of the things I’ve accomplished in the last 2 weeks:

I could list more but I feel really good about that list. Next week is my follow up visit and I have another ENTIRE month of no workouts allowed and can’t pick up anything over 15lbs. That will be a LONG month however, I just keep saying to myself how I’m going to crush it when I can work out again. I do have to stop myself from thinking about all the muscle I will lose in 6 weeks. Life happens sometimes and if I can gain that muscle once, I can certainly do it again.

Lastly, this last week I have made a point to try to enjoy taking it slowly, especially in the mornings. The first week I was going stir crazy. I will take more time from now on to sit and slow down from now on. It’s important for balance.

Oh- One more thing, I did think of alcohol more being here at home. That was annoying as when I was working 6 days a week and workout and seeing results, those thoughts were at bay.

Thanks for reading guys! ❤️ Jackie

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1 week out

Well I’m one week out of this “easy” in and out surgery.

My belly hurts a lot. Yes I have been doing things but I have kept all super slow moving.

I received a text from one of my brothers. He has been deployed in Iraq for 6 months thus far. He loves Goggins and has really made the most of it! Fucking incredible! Dessert running, mountain climbing. We have a great bond. He works 16-18 hours a day and still makes time for it all!

I instantly got jealous. My body won’t let me do that. I hate this. BUT…I will always be happy for my brother, can’t imagine what he’s going through. I bet running and David Goggins is getting him through. Plans to surprise my parents are in the plans. I love his wife and we keep in touch.

I have to get through this period after surgery, it’s just taking longer than I thought!!

Any helpful thoughts are appreciated. XOXO

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Surgery is done! ✔️

Umbilical surgery is done. It was yesterday. I had a great doctor and nurses that made it the best experience it could have been.

Pain, swelling and bruising have gotten worse but that was to be expected. I’m a little nauseated this am but I slept really bad last night. Woke up at least a dozen times and nausea does happen with me when I don’t get my sleep. I won’t actually throw up, it’s just a lingering feeling. Overall I’m doing great!

I made my mindset list for the first 2 weeks of needing to be mostly sedentary and move as my body allows. That will be difficult and I’m quite an active person, but I will do what needs to be done. After the 2 weeks I have another month of restrictions. Can’t work out until I’m fully cleared after the 6weeks. 🙁

I always lean to my favorite poet Walt Whitman when I need to be grounded. This quote applies and I will be happy every hour. I am lucky to have a copy of his Leaves of Grass book. 1931 edition. I just love it!

I can control my diet, water intake, alcohol and getting some sedentary things done around the house that have been neglected. Alcohol should not be a problem as I have it under control but you never know how the mind works. Keeping my bedtime and wake up time the same to keep in a routine. I want to start working out when I can in the best shape I can be!!

Everything could be worse and I’m thankful all is just fine. The pain is quite steady even with medication but also, I’m not taking the strong medication they prescribed for me. It’s there if really needed but I do try to stay away from that stuff if possible. Maybe feeling the pain will remind me not to overdo it also. ✔️

Well that’s about it! Lol! I’m sure I’ll be just fine but sure will miss working out and all the progress I have made over the last 5 months. I’m up to 3 pull-ups! That’s huge for me. ( I have been restricted from working out my core for 6 weeks so yeah, that’s flabby. Lol! )

Thanks for reading! ❤️ Jackie

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Scoliosis and a new back.

Today is 2 years since my daughter had severe scoliosis surgery, which essentially consists of a whole new back.

Middle and high school was rough. The scoliosis was so bad one shoulder blade was quite lower than the other. She was obviously hunched to one side. She wore large t shirts every day. She wore two, $3,500 braces to try to stop the curve from getting worse. These braces are awful and can only be taken off 2hrs a day. It’s basically like a tourniquet that Velcro was in the back making it need someone to help take it off, yep even to pee at school.

Surgery was 9 hours. The worry and anxiety waiting in the lobby of the hospital was awful. They did call every 1.5hrs to update us. My husband was allowed to wait with me. COVID had hit hard and the rule was just 1 person allowed to wait inside the hospital but they made an exception for us.

The braces didn’t stop the the curve and the curve got to 63degrees. At 80degress it can crush organs. Surgery was the only option. The left x-ray pic was taken a bit before surgery so the curve was worse at time of surgery. Right hand pic was a few days after surgery.

Recovery was AWFUL! My kid is quite a strong willed kid. Even the nurses and doctors in the hospital said she’s a 10 for recovery. However, home without pain meds dripping in your veins changes everything. The pain meds they gave us pill form just aren’t the same. Recovery went well and on point but seeing her in so much pain was so hard. I didn’t sleep for a week. She just needed something like every hour. One day crying she said “I wish I stayed curvy mom.” She fainted in my arms once from pain as well.

On the bright side, 2 years later she’s doing great! Her confidence is back and she was so happy for little things like to see her belly button lining up to the button on her jeans now! Once you have scoliosis, you always do. We stopped the curve but with having a metal back comes with some achy times, especially in the colder months.

But, the worst is behind her. She’s in college and taking on the world! 😃❤️💪 I couldn’t be more proud.

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Little of this, little of that.

Well girls are doing well at college but life hasn’t slowed down yet that’s for sure. Hubby and I working 6 days a week and it’s been one thing after another. That’s okay though, it happens. There will be a break in the crazy. Although hubby says never with me! 😂❤️

Oldest caught COVID at college already. A friend had it unknowingly and she was riding in the car with her and spent the day with her at Target and such. College policy is must leave campus and isolate for 5 days. If you can’t leave they will get you an Uber and to the nearest motel, both at student/parent cost. 🙄 Then return mask wearing for another 5 days. Well that was a fun Sunday trip, 11hours round trip. She’s isolating in her room and she has her own bathroom. Has a tv and microwave so let’s hope it stays contained there.

I’ve still been showing up and giving my all to what I can with having umbilical hernia pain. Surgery at the end of the month then the 2 weeks of rest and 6 weeks of nothing lifted over 15lbs. It’s going to kill me not to work out however I have plans in the making for a comeback! ✔️💪 Having plans knowing I will see them out is what’s keeping me going….well and my support group! Family is great, Volly family is great and WP family is great. I appreciate you all. 🙌🏻 I did accomplish 2 pull ups last week! I am psyched! Took me 30 days to accomplish 1, that was my goal and just under 30 for a second. I can’t push anything with my limitations so just ecstatic I accomplished a second before surgery.

Well that’s about it! Oh wait! Today Steven King’s newest book arrived! It’s a rainy day so after work had to get some reading in! He’s by far my favorite author. ❤️🤓☕️

My quote I am loving is “We can do hard things.”

Thanks for reading, Jackie

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