Mindset is the key. ( Well let’s hope! )

I started off my fitness journey strong. Then I had to have umbilical hernia surgery. That left me 6 weeks no working out.

Ok. Fine.

Next I got bursitis in my knee. Stopped running and after 2 weeks it got better. Still a bump with fluid though but no pain thus far. Haven’t ran since, have done elliptical.

Ok. Fine.

Next I get “rib flare.” I totally think I was overcompensating for my core due to the hernia surgery and got this. Looked it up and started core exercises totally related to this.

Ok. Fine.

Now ribs are tender and hurt to the touch. Even had bruising. Working out makes it hurt worse. Doctor appointment Wednesday. Something is wrong…..yet again….

Ok. Now. Getting. Annoyed.

So I’m going to continue working out until Wednesday. I bet I get taken away from it, yet again. Why can’t things just go smoothly? I’m bettering myself for Freaking God’s sake.

Mindset. Kicks. In.

Focus Daniel Son. ( Karate Kid ) Every obstacle you have encountered you have conquered. I will get through this.

💪🔥✔️💯% Thanks for reading, I appreciate it! Jackie

Late Sunday night

It’s way later than I would normally be up on a Sunday night. I’ve had an eventful day.

Worked until 12:30pm and then had my parents over at 2pm. My husband cooked them dinner ( first time ever ) and I cleaned house and cleaned before dinner and after. I really appreciated him cooking dinner. He has just started to cook recipes from a website he found and is doing great!

My parents are a bit of a trigger for drinking. I won’t go into the details ( I do love them so ) and I had to really breathe a few times however, I never once wanted to drink.

I enjoyed my sober time with them. They are 78 & 80 years old. This is important. My dad said how proud he is of me for working out and I knew he also meant my severe reduction in alcohol. His hug and smile will keep me moving forward.

They left about 8:30pm, it’s 11pm and I’m finally done with my “down time.” ( I had kitchen clean up and such ) My girls were chatting with me and I was so tired but they are only home for a week from college until the summer. I’ll take all I can get.

Heading to bed feeling good, accomplished, my heart is full and grateful. Will wake up tomorrow a bit tired but I would not trade it for the world.

I’m so glad for today.

❤️ Jackie

Random

I was looking through my pictures this morning and thought I’d share some randomness about me through pictures. 🤣

I like spending time with my bunny. He’s quite small and looks young but he’s in his elder years.

I love Ivan Moody from Five Finger Death Punch. He’s sober and rocks it at every concert!

My whole family loves SpongeBob and send SpongeBob memes frequently in our family group chat. This particular one was sent to me. 😂

I can still remember the adrenaline watching these two. Pay-per-views were so exciting!! ( I wasn’t a girly-girl. 😆 )

This is me as a kid. I was a kick ass softball pitcher and third baseman. Also-proof of my “Tom boy-ness.” 🤣

I love ROCKY and even assimilated him before. 😂🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

I got new kicks and they make me very happy! It’s been a long time a coming!

I never use twitter but have an account. I recently logged in and found this was my last post years ago. 😂😂😂

Well that’s about it! 😃😂 Have a great day everyone and thanks for reading my randomness!! Jackie

I’ve got shit I didn’t think I could.

Today after work as I’m cleaning my pellet stove I got thinking…..

There was a time I relied on my husband for everything. I was very insecure in all areas.

His uncle offered him a job opportunity, which didn’t pan out. I voiced I did not think it would but totally supported my husband in helping our family. He had a lot of unpaid vacations to use.

It was overseas. First time he left for 1.5weeks. Second time, 3.5 weeks.

I did not want to tackle it all on myself for 1.5 weeks but I had to. Then came the almost a full month.

At that time we had 2 girls in sports, a horse, 4 bunnies and a senior dog with issues. Everything has an issue here it seems. Country living. Water heater, horse or something. Our horse was old and fell a lot and I had to bandaged him and treat him a lot. ( with help of his Vet ) but I always knew before my husband was here. oh and then COVID hit and I was so scared I would not have money for food and food for our animals….next thought…

Well, before annoyingly starting off the last stint of almost a month on, was right before COVID. He was gone and life was good. ( Man he had all the bells and whistles!) Not for me. I had horse chores, and yes he fell once. I had water heater issues, flood issues, teenage girls issues and traveling for sports. Some days I was coming home from night feeding my horse at 10pm.

I learned how to clean my pellet stove, clean the outside vent to it, fix a water heater fault, completely do everything with my horse. Take care of fire alarm issues. It was a shit show left for me. However, that’s how it usually goes. The rest of my thoughts were given to my two teenage girls. They are 18months apart.

So as I’m cleaning my pellet stove tonight I have to say all that anxiety and work was worth it. I’m stronger for sure, mentally and physically.

As I thought the job never panned out and we actually lost some money on it, I appreciate my husband for trying to help our family.

Happiness

This morning as I am sitting here I am thankful that overall I’m general I am such a happy person. In addition to being happy, I’m proud of myself. To preface I have always been generally a happy girl. When daily drinking took over feelings of guilt and shame shadowed my happiness. I’m proud because I worked hard to turn that around and life truly is wonderful.

I know a lot of my friends are trying to turn their drinking around. My best advice is just keep trying. There’s no failures, we always learn more as we go. I personally FINALLY hit a point where I was just sick of my own shit. You will get there too.

Another update is I was running 1-1.5 miles a day over the summer. A bump appeared below my kneecap. Then it filled with fluid. I stopped running but it didn’t go away. It’s painful as well. Went to a specialist and it’s bursitis. I’m back on limited workout with no bending of the knee, elevating it and icing it. Wrapping it for work as well. It’s quite annoying as I was out 6 weeks for my umbilical hernia not long ago. After 2 weeks we see what happens with the knee. Basically this is going to be something I’m going to always have to deal with I’m thinking. It’s super annoying but I still workout what body parts I can. Still keeping a positive mindset. I am still going to reach my goal which is to be in the best mental and physical shape when I turn 50. 😃

Well that’s all I’ve got for ya this Friday morning! TGI freaking F!! Thanks for reading, 💗 Jackie

I’m going to soar like an eagle.

I feel at peace in my head. Alcohol is not calling the shots, picking at my brain every day, making me feel so upset at myself the next morning. I feel I have finally won the battle. It’s fucking hard and I know some of my dear friends are fighting that fight. I always told myself I will never lose the fight because I will always get my ass back up and go another round.

This morning I listened to this song and I hadn’t heard it before. “I’m gonna soar like an eagle….I have a heart like a lion.” This song came on Spotify so I didn’t see the video until now. My take on it when I heard it was how I’m soaring like an eagle right now. I’m content…free. Alcohol doesn’t tell me how to live anymore.

Working out early mornings and my support on Volly was key to this happening. Oh and not to mention lots of fucking grit to get back up and fight again with alcohol over and over and OVER. I wanted to blog this morning just to say don’t ever feel down or upset if alcohol THINKS it won the battle. It did not. We get back up and fight again. There’s no losing.

I also wanted to mention I am not totally sober however it does not take presidency in my life anymore. I’m a work in progress.

I did the best workout I’ve done in awhile this morning. It’s a Saturday morning and I was up at 5am and working out at 7am. Feeling pretty strong inside and out.

So keep fighting that fight and know you never lose. XOXO Jackie

College girls

Sunday my youngest goes back to college. My oldest went back last weekend. My oldest goes to college 5hrs away. We took her back in one trip so 10hrs total and a long day!

My youngest goes to college 1.5hrs away. We will be following her to college due to she’s taking a mini fridge and it doesn’t fit in her car. Much easier travel day.

I absolutely love having my girls here. They enjoy spending time with me and frequently ask me to do things with them. ( All of this brought to you by not daily drinking! ) Yesterday after work my youngest and I went to a place that buys your clothes ( if they will resell ) and she thought she would get $30-$40 and she got $79! Then we went to a thrift store, I got her Taco Bell and then home. We laughed a lot, such a nice time.

That put us home around 6pm. I made a quick dinner for my hubby and I and then picking up from diner and doing whatever needs to be done for the next day. I get up at 4:30am so I don’t stay up late.

This is how my days have been going for about a month now. I’m so thankful for my time with them but also looking forward to coming home with no agenda and coffee and a book. I feel a little guilty about that as other moms are still so sad as their kids go back to school. For me, since they are happy at college, I am happy. With cell phones and texting they keep in touch well.

So I guess I write this as I seem to be in the minority with looking forward to me time. When the house is empty again I will likely miss the go go days. These are just thoughts that are going through my head at the moment.

Thanks for reading, XO Jackie

It’s late

It’s 11:32PM and as I am laying in bed I wake up and hear my oldest daughter packing to go back to college. I wake up to multiple suitcase zippers.

I went to bed early as I ( not courageous announced ) will drive her to college. Her dad will drive back. I woke up to pee and can’t get back to sleep.

I hate highway driving, especially 5hrs of it, ( 10hrs total round trip ) however I feel I need to keep out of my comfort zone in this process of becoming a better human. Let the anxiety begin! ( likely why I can’t sleep! ) It’s also not fair for me to sit and have my hubby drive it all.

It’s also a bittersweet time as I love having my 2 college girls home for the last month yet….it’s time for them to go back out and live life without me.

So many emotions. I shouldn’t be on my phone also at this hour but I think jotting my thoughts down is helpful and maybe others can relate. Does anyone say the word jotting anymore? 😂

Anywho, going to try to go back to sleep land. Hope you are all doing well. ❤️

Thanks for reading, ❤️ Jackie

Jack

Working out yesterday this song came on my playlist twice.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uwtjL9UI4uQ

I think it was meant to happen. It’s a cool song and I love the story it tells — it’s got some deep undertones about alcohol and how it can have a strong grip on people and can really bring you down.

Why was I always drinking something that in the end, brought me down…..EVERY TIME!?

I just resonated so well to this song and it made my goals for the next year stronger.

Just thought I’d share with you. ❤️ Jackie

It’s my birthdayyyyy!

Today I am 49 years old. I’m quite excited about this as I have a goal I am excited to complete. My goal is to be in the best mental and physical shape of my life when I turn 50.

I already have many new habits in place so I just need to be continuously diligent with them. Some things I changed are I no longer drink daily, in fact it’s a rarity. I get up at 4:45am to workout. I do the elliptical for a mile and then strength train. I want to be strong as f*ck. Yes, that’s blunt however it’s EXACTLY what I want for my mind and body.

I have a support group that I check in daily with after I workout. I look forward to checking in with them, they are like family to me. ( Thanks Dwight and Anne! ) 🙌🏻

I read more. David Goggins is a bit hard core but I take his mindset and apply it to my life. He is amazing! It’s also amazing how much mindset has to do with everything in life. I just received this habit book yesterday. I read the prologue and am already hooked.

I am eating much healthier! I did get a tad derailed over the holidays but not a problem to get back on track.

The power of owning my morning is a staple in my life now. I even have a sign that is by where I workout in the basement that says “Own the fucking day.”

Yes, I’m not afraid to swear. 😆

I started this week going to bed earlier and as I mentioned above, not eating so many holiday sweets. Should be easy to do since they are about gone right Dwight? 😂😂😂😂😂

I am so thankful for my WordPress friends that got me to where I am today. When I first came on here I was drinking daily, waking up with a hangover and running out the door for work. I was looking for support to change that. It’s fucking hard and took about 9,000 tries. I realized I had to find something that I loved more than alcohol. For me, that is exercise. Thanks for your continued support to keep me on this current path I am on. ❤️🙌🏻

Happy New Year to you all! Let’s crush our goals!! 💪

❤️ Jackie