When our kids cry, we cry.

For those that don’t know my oldest daughter is in her second year of college. She has always suffered from very low self esteem, really hurting her mental health. About a year ago she met a really nice boy. I loved seeing her happy and smiling.

He lives 3 hours away and they are still on holiday break. He came for a visit yesterday. He spent the day with her and at 2am I woke up to a very sobbing child. He broke up with her. He told he loved her just an hour before. They were watching a movie and commitment came up and my daughter mentioned long term and how he’s in for it and he then said, “maybe.” ( He’s been talking about the future regularly. ) That lead to him breaking up with her. He told my daughter his plan was to come for a few days and see if he wanted to continue dating her. So come, tell her you love her, have relations with her and then break up with her? I think his plan was to just go home after the few days and text her to break up with her. The movie cut that shorter than he planned.

He said he said he loved her thinking that’s what she wanted to hear. She told him he knows she only wants to hear what he means.

Thing is, we really liked this kid. I still like this kid, just hate how he handled ending this relationship. My heart is breaking for my daughter. There were just no signs.

So as I started off at 2 am I hear sobbing. It just isn’t fair she said and I told her she is correct. I had the needed mom talk with her. Dad came out and and said encouraging things to her. We told her we loved her and she want to her room sobbing and sobbing.

As my heart hurts for her I am looking at upcoming school. She has 2 roommates that aren’t too nice. She tried to move but cannot this year. I’m really hoping this does put her way back down into the dumps mentally. College is 5 hours away, not at all a hop/skip/jump away. College is in “orange status” due to COVID so you are limited on what you can do.

So long story short my heart is broken for my daughter. I know these things happen and she will recover but it will take her longer than more. Last time she had a hard time at college we made many many trips to and from college to be there for her. It’s really hard mentally and physically to worry all the time.

At least she knows we are always there for her. There’s no mile we won’t run for her. I hope someday she meets her person.

All us parents want is happiness for our kids. ❤️ I sure hope she finds it.

Thanks for reading, Jackie

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14 Responses to When our kids cry, we cry.

  1. Oh, this is hard stuff.
    I am so glad she has you and her dad helping her.
    Reminds me of my school days and boyfriends.
    Not that I had many, one of them sent his friend to break up with me. 🤦🏻‍♀️

    • Thanks so much Wendy. ❤️ she stayed up till 4am sobbing and I took today off to be here when she wakes up.
      Oh my on sending a friend to break up with you! 😞 I had a couple boyfriends before getting married. One didn’t bother me much when he dumped me and one crushed me. The one that didn’t bother me much had the nerve to ask me for all his clothes back that were at the house, and a pair of work boots. He had a lot of clothes that were embroidered for work. I said sure and I got my moms clothing shears and cut them all up into small pieces. Even the boots. 🤣😂 kind of lost it for a bit but it felt so good. I then put them in a grocery bag and put them in his locker, just as I said I would. Needless to say, he wasn’t too happy. 😆🤷‍♀️👩‍🦰

  2. msnewleaf says:

    Oh! Those first few heartbreaks are just devastating! My heart goes out to you both!

  3. Oh Jackie!!! I’m sorry. My girls are only going into middle school next year so things are still drama free, but I know it is coming.
    It is HUGE that she will even confide in you and let you comfort her. That is the kind of relationship I hope to have with mine.
    Especially since I remember that kind of heartbreak. Relationships are so hard, so hard to get right even when you’ve had lots of experience, even when you have good self esteem. I was always the type to fall hard and fast, and be incredibly emotionally invested.
    It’s SO hard, but she will end up learning something from it. It might just take a long time. There is no way she can get out of her living situation? My second year in college I chose housemates that ended up being very toxic – I somehow arranged to get a spot back in the dorms. (It was the “sober” floor, too, hahahahhaaa!)
    So many parallels. Ugh, love is hard. But she’s lucky to have you.

    • You really hit home with this. Today I ached for my kid. I was literally nauseous. I like this boy. I took today off from work. Hubby was iffy but it was what was needed. My girl and I sat for 1.5 hours and chatted. ( after the 2am explosion of being dumped. ) She wrote down what she wanted to tell him. She’s working on her self esteem but he needs lots of work. Poor guy lost his dad and brother to cancer within a year. He can’t deal with…..anything. So long story short they love each other so are going to work on theme selves and each other. She does have her work cut out with him but as I said earlier, he’s a sweet kid! He needs positive direction. He doesn’t have a dad nor a mom he can confide in. So the end of all this craziness. They both are going to put a good forth to be happy together. He has never had to deal with feelings. We shall see how this goes. Another 2 hours talking after with her. I believe this has helped herself and him. ❤️

  4. gr8ful_collette says:

    I’m so sorry, Jackie. Seeing our kids hurt is worse than our own pain. At least you are always there for her, and have faith that she will find her person. Xx

    • You sure got that right! I had such an upset stomach like I wanted to throw up just from feeling so bad for her. I am glad this happened on break so I could be there for her. College is 5 hours away. Thanks for your comment Collette! Xx

  5. Dwight Hyde says:

    That’s just so hard to go through. My daughter and her boyfriend would breakup/ makeup several times in the past. She would come through the door just balling. I learned after the first makeup that I needed to be careful what I said about him and his actions. Sending big hugs to both of you.

    • Thanks Dwight! This is my first experience with a break up with either of my girls. That was rough for sure! I am sure I will have more as I have 2 daughters. This daughter and her boyfriend are going to try and work it out. I hope it works for them but we shall see. I went to bed earlier than normal last night from exhaustion! Lol! I did tell myself at least I didn’t have a foggy brain from alcohol to deal with this!

  6. Ainsobriety says:

    It is so hard to see our kids suffer.
    At the same time, I know my personal suffering is what makes me the person I am today.
    Your daughter will have many more relationships. She shouldn’t settle for someone who isn’t ready for her.

    Hugs and love.

    • You are so right and thanks for your comment! All my suffering made me who I am today as well. She’s got a good support system at home too. Like you mentioned it is so hard to see our kids cry, let alone sobbing. At least I didn’t have a foggy brain from alcohol so I could handle the situation properly! 🙌🏻

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