Third child

I thought I would share something special that happened on my birthday. It was something I needed to hear and she decided to post it on social media. Quite commendable for a person that’s pretty private.

I may have previously mentioned however long story short years ago at a birthday party my girls were quite young and met another girl who was maybe 5 years older. ( So she was about 11/12years old ) She loved my girls and asked right away to “come over the following weekend.” I said sure. Well she really meant the weekend and after that she spent a LOT of time at my house, like a third child. We had great times and loved her like ours. Her mother worked 3 jobs and was a alcoholic. ( However that was this girls life and she loved her mom dearly.) after that she lived with us her senior year. The summer after her senior year, her mom passed of cancer.

She moved back in with us after that and really resented our family. I believe she was jealous she didn’t have that. She lashed out and treated my girls poorly. She did really mean and hurtful things. She made me cry to the point of vomiting. A year later she left when we weren’t home one day, stayed with a dysfunctional Aunt but did go to college.

She graduated with her bachelors and has started to come around. She apologized, we accepted and also apologized if we did anything to hurt her. ( I don’t think we did but possibly unknowingly. ) We moved on. She still struggles in life but I can see she’s maturing and dealing with a terrible life. We keep in touch.

Anyway, she posted this to Facebook on my birthday. Really brought me to happy tears.

Maybe just maybe, it was all worth it.

Well…..I just went to copy and paste it and she has taken it off Facebook. 😢 I’m so confused. I cannot allow myself to be emotional about this. This cannot conduct how my day will go. Just contacted hubby and said I wonder if she didn’t mean all those nice things she said and thanked me for. She basically said I was a roll model and thanked me for being there for her whole life. He said I deserved all she said, no matter what. I agree, still why take it off? Again, I need to redirect.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Third child

  1. msnewleaf says:

    You are such a loving person, Jackie. To me, I feel like if she posted it, she meant it. I’m sure she has many complicated feelings about everything – and that may come out in weird ways – but it seems like she must have meant it. It’s hard to grow up without the family we should have, and people have a way of taking those things out on the people who do care about them, unfortunately. But I’m sure she meant it. 🤗❤️

    • Thank you so much for saying that Leafy! You are so right, she has always had complicated feelings and yes about everything. I was a bit shocked and sad she removed it. I spent time commenting on it and she “loved” the comment Tuesday. Deep down I know she meant it, thanks for reminding me of that! ❤️😘

  2. HigherTimesMentalHealth says:

    You deserve all the love you get

    • Thank you so much for saying that! I deep down know she meant what she said. She dropped off a card a couple months ago that was very sweet. I thought about it all day today. I’m sure it wasn’t taken down due to she didn’t mean it. ❤️

  3. Like Leafy said,
    She meant it.
    She is obviously still has conflicted feelings. I know I have written a comment publicly then panicked, and deleted it.
    I meant it, but was scared of doing it publicly.
    You are a beautiful person!

    • Thanks so much Wendy! I’m sure that’s what happened. It was so sweet and very detailed….and public. She did drop a nice card off at the house for me a couple months ago so I know she does feel that way about me. Again, thanks for commenting. I thought about it all day and came home feeling better about it and these comments are really validating that. ❤️

  4. Ainsobriety says:

    People often have sharing anxiety.
    They freak out when others respond and pull back.
    Maybe someone asked her something related to the post and she didn’t know how to manage it.

    Believe what it said. Take her kindness and recognition as an acknowledgement that she realizes just how much you offered her, and how hard she fought against love.

    It must be very hard to be an abandoned kid. Having a safe space to be loved, and to act badly, is a gift. You changed the world.

    Know in your heart that she knows that.

    Thank you for sharing this.


    • Thank you so very much for this! I read these comments quick at work as I have been thinking of it all day. She does have a dysfunctional family and it definitely could be the case that something was said so she just deleted the post. A couple months ago she dropped off a very sweet card to me so I know she meant what she said.
      You really hit home with her feeling safe and acting out only here. She never acted out at her moms. ( Never has there been a father around )
      Thank you again for commenting and really broadening my thinking. I’m sure she’s now even worried I noticed the post was taken down. I plan on just acting like I don’t know and keep the loving flow going. She isn’t the type to reach out and tell me why so I’ll wait a little bit and reach out generally with something to show all is good. ❤️❤️❤️

  5. Firstly happy birthday. Just to echo what everyone else has said. You are a lovely gorgeous person and you know she meant it. Think how anxious you felt the first time you posted on your blog the first time and laid your feelings bare. Then imagine doing this on Facebook for the world to see. I think if anything it was sharing anxiety and she would be really upset to hear she upset you. I dont think that was her intention. ♡♡

    • Thank you so much for this comment! You nailed it as I am even still hesitant sometimes blogging. Not only was this her first long heartfelt Facebook post it is also something that she rarely does even at all. Took me all day however I totally get it now and will just randomly reach out to show all is good! I read it, responded and we both meant what we said, that’s what means the most. ❤️ Thank you again girlie!

  6. Lovie Price says:

    ohhh..this hits hard. So many times i have taken the time to write out ny deepest and most felt feelings about something or someone.A few times i have even posted them but also took them down. So i am gonna tell you this from my heart: She wrote it in hopes that you would see it because she meant every single word. But then something got the better of her- embarrassment, shame, a heavy heart, a fleeting moment of roller coaster emotions or whatever it may have been- and that feeling forced her to take it down. And here is the next thing: if you ever decide to question her about it, she will lie about why she took it down somehow. Because perhaps there is still a part of her that is jealous, maybe guilty or even stubborn about admitting any weaknesses. I know this well. But rest assured, no one takes the time to write out , much less post them ( no matter how briefly) unless they mean them.

    • Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me this! It was long and in depth post and I’m sure this is exactly what happened. I was putting away my Christmas decorations last night and there’s some she made us. I took a picture and sent them to her saying how much we love them still. She responded very happy to hear that. I am just going to let it go. I know she would get very embarrassed if I asked her about it and I’m also not really the type of person to ask her about it either. ( so that works for both of us. Lol ) As you said I’m going to know in my heart she meant every word. Thanks again for reassuring me on this, it really helps so much! ❤️

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s