Feeling blah..

Lately I feel completely unmotivated. This started about 3 weeks before we had to put down our senior horse. I knew it was coming, then the day came and now a few weeks later I still feel so numb. I don’t know what to do with my mornings. I have just been sitting here with my coffee, news and phone. We are now 3 weeks post that sad day. Being there for him so he passed peacefully not even knowing what was going on was so hard. I just went through all this with my 13 year old dog just over a year ago.

Last Saturday night I noticed something wrong with my bunny. She’s a senior bunny for her breed. She was having trouble breathing. We have had 5 bunnies here at one point. None stay in cages and have huge run arounds to be in. She wouldn’t come to me and was in a corner. I went down there and sat down. She came over to me and went between my legs. I pet her as her breathing was labored, then she just put her little head down on my leg and passed. I bawled. It’s all just too much at once. I bawled so hard my eyes were swollen the next day.

Anyway, so here we are this morning. I now feel I need some sort of a self care plan. I was working out before all this started and have stopped since then. My complexion sucks, my energy level is down and alcohol seems to be on my mind more.

After work today I do have to do a final mop on my basement. So much water here over the past few months that the water table is too high. If it rains, my basement floods. I think I’ll do a facial or something for me after. I’ve been wanting to do this DIY facial out of the aloe from my aloe plant.

Anywwho….I need the old happy Jackie back! I miss her! Losing 3 special pets ( And having them all either pass in my arms or legs or as with my horse, me petting him telling him he’s such a good boy.) in the past year is so hard but I can’t use that as an excuse to not put time into myself.

Thanks for reading this droned on post! I appreciate you all! ❤️

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Feeling blah..

  1. Oh honey.
    Cry away.
    And it’s ok to cry while you take care of yourself, although it might wreck your facial!


    • Thanks so much Wendy! My 17 year old asked to wait until tomorrow night so we can do the facial together-SOLD! I am doing pretty good today. Lots of sunshine out! My daughter, her boyfriend and another girlfriend came home all happy and chatty after school. Got my daughters report card and it’s 98.2! I think all these things have given me a nice boost today! I also can see I’m starting to think about the amazing memories with these animals instead of just crying out of missing them. Hope you had a lovely day today Wendy! 🥰

  2. Ohhhh Jackie! Big big hugs! I came to say what Wendy said – it’s ok to be sad. That is so much to handle at once. No need to feel guilty about not bouncing back and being “happy” right away. For your extra time in the morning can I suggest Yoga with Adrienne? She has many free videos on YouTube, I know there is a beginner series so you can do them in order from Day 1. Very gentle and easy. Some are barely a workout, more a moving meditation. I know it helps me immensely just to sit on my mat and have someone tell me to take deep breaths.

    • Hey you! I have heard of her and may just give her another try! I know others that love her! When I tried before I had 9,000 things going on and somehow couldn’t focus. I have time now in the mornings to focus. This morning I also spent 45 minutes on a puzzle. I really felt good after that. ( Only got 12 pieces in but it’s hard! 🤣 ) That time frame normally would have been spent on horse chores. My mind has always been a racing mind. Go go go! Even when I watch a movie with hubby I am filing my nails or whatever. I seem to have a problem with putting up a stop sign and fully relax. Yoga may be the key now. Always love your comments and appreciate them more than you know!! ❤️🥰

  3. gr8ful_collette says:

    I’m so sorry about the losses you’ve experienced lately. Our pets are most definitely part of our families so I can imagine how sad and defeated you feel. Take time to take care of yourself. Be extra kind. Xx

    • Thanks so much, Collette! It is a hard hit for sure. Right about now I know I need to really feel within and heal. I went over to my horse’s grave and talked to him. I’m getting there. ( I did still cry but getting better ) I really appreciate your support. It makes me know I’m on the right path. ❤️🙌🏻

  4. Ainsobriety says:

    I’m so sorry. Pets are had losses.

    • Thank you! They sure are. Hubby and I said yes to so many animals the kids wanted years ago and now they are all senior pets at the same time it seems. Super sad but they sure did have a good life here. ❤️

  5. clairei47 says:

    There is sometimes just too much to deal with and it’s ok to have a big bawl or four and wait for it to pass. We only have so much we can hold in our cup before it overflows! Self care sounds good. Empty out the cup a little. Sending hugs and love 💗

    • Thank you so much Claire! The littlest things are making me emotional recently too, thinking maybe because I am not done grieving for my pets. I also think having my last kid a senior this year and likely go to college is emotionally getting to me too, although I didn’t really think so until just recently. ( She is not going too far away so that’s helpful. ) I guess I will just wait for this to pass, thanks for letting me know that’s just okay. I am so thankful to have you as a friend! ❤️

  6. Dwight Hyde says:

    You’ve been through so much, Jackie. After the dark nights, comes much light. Just be and keep in tuned with yourself. The path forward will get clearer..keep the faith.🤗

    • Thank you so much!! I am starting to feel better but it’s taken longer than I thought! Just last night at a school event a lady came up to me saying sorry about my horse and then said “He was your whole world.” I did almost cry but just said yes he was but it was his time, he was such an old man. So, making progress here! Last night I dreamed of my dog….but I feel dreams sometimes are a good thing in remembrance. Anyway, I’m getting there and thanks again for your caring comment!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s