Adoption

Yesterday, 47 years ago I was adopted. I still love sitting down on our land and absorbing everything I love. ❤️ I appreciate everything and love I am now working on myself inside and out.

My birth mom was in her mid 30’s and already had a 13 year old daughter an aunt was taking care of and decided to put me up for adoption. She does not know who the father is. I was in foster care for a few months after birth. That family wrote a lot about my daily activities and such so that it could be handed over to my forever home. They seemed to be such a loving foster home for me. It always cracks me up because on my feedings she wrote “Really shows temper when hungry.” 😂😂😂 Funny thing is my own children got me a shirt a few years ago that says “hangry” on it! Still true to this day!

I was adopted by a loving family and a couple years later they adopted my brother. My mom was told she could never have kids however she got pregnant at 37years old which doc said was a miracle. Then she became pregnant again at 39. So I have 3 brothers. My parents are the best girl could ask for. However, it’s clear I am just a different person than either of them.

My adopted brother sought out his birth mom. She was a very young mom and they have a tight relationship. I have decided not to seek out my birth mom. I feel pretty whole with myself and I honestly don’t think I can handle the ups and downs of the process.

Backtracking a bit is I spent years not loving myself. Always feeling a bit “different.” I drank for years because I forgot those feelings. I got tons of tattoos to enrich my different feelings. Now in my mid 40’s I have put in a lot of time with myself. I have control of the drinking and I appreciate and love myself. (Details on that I’ll do in another blog.) I think I finally, truly appreciate being born instead of asking myself why was I born.

I have never written or talked about this and I’m feeling better just writing this. Dwight’s last post really gave me the strength to post this and for that I am forever grateful. I think I’ll start blogging more on the path I took to finding myself. I think it’s my next step and maybe I could help someone else out as well.

Much much love to you all for reading and being here on WordPress. ❤️ I must go feed my horse and get my butt to work!

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to Adoption

  1. Thank you so much for sharing!
    One of my adult friends recently found and corresponded to her birth mother.
    Didn’t work out.
    Being adopted would be hard, just for the reasons you mentioned, feeling different, looking different.
    I am so glad you had a loving family!
    xo
    Wendy

    • Thank you so much Wendy! That’s too bad your friend finding her mom didn’t work out. My brother also located his birth father. He wanted nothing to do with my brother. I’m doing quite well right now and have my little family I made. I’m quite happy! 😃 I always love your comments! ❤️

  2.  “I think I finally, truly appreciate being born instead of asking myself why was I born”. Absolutely love this comment 🤗🤗 thanks so much for sharing

    • Thank you soooooo much! I’m so glad you enjoyed reading! One thing that’s funny is my parents said I was the queen of temper tantrums. I guess I used to throw myself on the floor and scream and such. My hubby says I can still “see red” in the blink of an eye. 😂🤣 👩‍🦰

  3. Really glad you shared and would love to hear more about the “finding yourself’…. think that is something I’m starting here in my late 30’s…

    • That’s about when I started as well! I didn’t really start until after I had my two girls. I think before then I wasn’t really ready to explore my feelings. I’m thankful I am at a point now that I am happy with myself, like fully happy. 😃 It felt good to write this blog and I’d love to share about finding myself. ☺️ Thanks for your lovely comment!!

  4. gr8ful_collette says:

    What a great post! I think not loving ourselves or feeling that we don’t fit in, area enough, etc. is such a common theme in people who get caught up in drinking/drugs. I’m glad you decided to share about your past and you should listen to that voice that’s telling you to explore more in that direction. That’s your brave and authentic voice…your heart voice. 🌟💛

    • Thanks so much Collette! You’re so right and I’m going to keep improving too! I read so many blogs where people said how much they appreciated the simplistic things when they stopped daily drinking. It’s sooooo true. Like right now I’m content and happy all done with work, sitting outside with my coffee. Birds are chirping away. Never before would I have even noticed the birds chirping away so beautifully. I love how you called it my heart voice too. I’m going to call it that from now on. Thank you for your sweet comment!! 😍

  5. Dwight Hyde says:

    Thanks so much Jackie for letting us getting to know you better and sharing your experience and emotions. Always hard to do, but very brave and freeing especially when you feel the love that comes back. So here’s some big LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE coming back to you my friend! : )

  6. clairei47 says:

    This is such a moving post Jackie and I’m really glad you shared it with us on here. Have you ‘tagged’ or put it in a category of ‘adoption’ because I think it would be great for others in a similar position to read about your story and experiences. I’m love that you have accepted yourself and love who you are. You are one awesome lady. Sending all my love and hugs to you lovely friend 💕💕

    • Morning Claire! 😍 I’m so glad you enjoyed reading this post! I really think maturity and having kids was a catalyst in the long process of liking who I am! Giving birth, seeing my daughters have some of my features and the funniness of how they inherited some of my characteristics still is the most amazing thing I have ever seen and or felt. Really changed me. Great idea to tag this post! Never thought of that! I’m feeling your love and hugs and thank you very much!!! ❤️❤️❤️

  7. Thanks for sharing this Jacquelyn and happy adoption day to you! Adoption is a complex thing to get your head round even when it works out well and I agree with Claire others would find your thoughts and story helpful – I love the picture of little you! 💞💞

    • Thank you so much! 😃 I do love little pictures of me. I was quite chunky as I was born 9lbs 13oz. 😂 My hospital photo that was taken right after birth is hysterical I’m so big! I’m thinking you and Claire are correct and will put an adoption tag on this post! Thanks so much for leaving such a nice comment!

  8. Ainsobriety says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. It is an honour.
    Anne

  9. Lovie Price says:

    thats a great post, right there…learning yo love oneself can come in many directions..sounds like you got a good dose of it 🙂

    • Thank you Lovie! It sure can and can take a long time as well. But I’m here now and will keep working on improving! I sure hope you are doing well yourself!! 😘 XO

  10. sobrietytree says:

    Jackie… this is such an amazing post. I feel like I’m hearing your true inner voice here. It’s just gorgeous. Happy belated anniversary of your adoption. I love the peace with self that radiates throughout this piece!! I know it’s something that comes and goes for all of us, but it’s such a delight to read. Very inspiring. Beautifully written!! Much love to you. <33 xoxoxo

    • Wow, thank you so much for this super kind comment! Just made my day!!! I am so happy you can feel the peace because I am truly feeling it here! It’s a wonderful feeling. ❤️ I wrote this and was hesitant but also wanted to share about me. Everyone else does and I, as usual hold back. I do feel comfortable here and am so thankful you are still here as you were my first go-to girl! 😍 Thank you so much, Nadine! I appreciate you more than you know. 😍 I so hope you are doing well!!

  11. msnewleaf says:

    This is a wonderful post, Jackie! I would love to hear more! xoxo ❤️

    • Thank you so much Leafy! I really appreciate it! I’m really glad you all liked reading this as I believe it’s my most personal post yet! I’ll definitely write more! XOXO right backatya! ❤️

  12. virtuous says:

    thank you for the story I love it !Best wishes from a fellow adoptee!

    • Thank you so much! Really appreciate your comment!! ☺️ I clicked on your name but it says your blog has been removed?

      • virtuous says:

        I still have my blog not sure what happened

      • I’ll look into it more after work! 😃 When I click on the notification you linked my blog I can see it! When I click on your profile pic it says the author has removed the blog. Weird but I am still learning with WordPress! 🤓

  13. I’ll look now into it more after work! 😃

  14. Thanks for this for this post. Three years ago DNA revealed that I was not biologically a part of my family. This revelation explains why I’ve aloways felt “different”. It’s been a rough emotional journey. However, I’m rising to the top!

    💛

    • Thank you for your comment! I can’t imagine finding out you weren’t biologically the way you did and I really feel for you! I have always known and I think that helped me emotionally. I’m so glad to hear you’re rising to the top! I want to blog more on adoption and it feels good not to feel “alone.” ❤️😍

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s