Decisions while in limbo land.

Hello my friends! I have been a terrible blogger lately. My days seem such the same with no real change or new thoughts to tell. As I was responding to one of Jim’s blogs ( Still don’t know how to add his blog and highlight. 🤦‍♀️) I realized I do have something to blog about, good ol’ alcohol. My update is I’ve proven I can go a long amount of time without it. I’ve gotten over the daily drinking which was my main goal. I love my mornings and I’m overall satisfied. I have been letting myself have it here and there. However I am noticing that after I let myself drink even for just one night my brain seems to want it for a couple days after. I have to constantly tell my brain no for those couple days. I succeed and carry on, but it’s getting exhausting. When I do drink ( If I drink it would only be on a weekend night ) I’m not getting drunk, I get right up in the mornings and do my animal feedings and carry on. I do feel a “lag” in me though, but no real hangover or anything.

So, I have kept on going in this cycle. Is it time to just stop altogether….again? I don’t know if I totally want to. I don’t think I’ve hit that brick wall per say. I am proud of myself for breaking the daily drinking habit. That was really hard for me to do. I’m just not sure if the next step is to totally stop for me. I guess I have to decide that if I do want to drink here and there I will continuously have to tell myself no for the next couple days as my mind seems to thinks it needs it. Then after a couple days, I’m just fine. It’s like my brain says “Oh it really is a no.”

I’m stuck in limbo land…

Thanks for reading, Jackie

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10 Responses to Decisions while in limbo land.

  1. Lovie Price says:

    i’m kinda right there with you . It’s probably why i don’t blog as much about alcohol as i used to or interact as much with more bloggers relating to it. But i have stuck to what i call my “core group”- meaning those i added in the first few months of recovery.After 15 months of complete abstinence, the pandemic started affecting me a little. Since about June i have been experimenting. There’s been once or twice i went overboard but i cant say i am completely unhappy with my choices.I can walk away after 2 most of the time, and its like you, maybe once a week. My limit is a 6 pack if i’m with my boyfriend, any more than that is always BAD. I needed to re-acknowledge my boundaries. I learned a few lessons. Because if that and the past i am still pretty vigilant. It’s great to hear from you again..stay awhile:)

    • Good morning Lovie! I really related to this. It really took my first long term period of no alcohol to really change my thinking of it. The thought and knowledge that it had control of me was a changing thought too. ( I don’t really like anyone/thing telling me what to do let alone controlling me. 😂 ) Sounds like you are in a great place right now! I feel I am too and am really happy with the changes I have made and want to keep improving on many aspects of myself! Great to hear from you! I shall stay awhile. 😊

      • Lovie Price says:

        i get that completely..i have to be in charge..thats one reason AA meetings didnt sit well with me. I felt like i was in a clique that had to adhere to certain “rituals”. The literature , however, was of great help to me as i could navigate them at my own pace, asking questions of veterans along the way. I watched many movies, youtube videos, and documentaries as well. Always learning!

      • I love how you said always learning! That’s my thinking too!

  2. Dwight Hyde says:

    I get this ebb and flow searching for our natural rhythms. Keep exploring and always be kind to yourself. We didn’t come with instructions and if you’re like me you would of thrown them out. Big hugs to you, Jackie🤗

    • Awwweee…thank you so much, Dwight! I really like the way you put this. I shall do just that. I am really happy with the changes I have made in my life and I want to keep improving. Thanks for being such an inspiration! Big hugs back to you!!

  3. clairei47 says:

    I think you will get to where you need and want to be in your own time Jackie. Think how far you have come since this time last year. You’ve smashed it and there are no rights and wrongs here. Sending love 💕

  4. Thank you so much for your comment Claire! I re-read this as sipping on my morning coffee. Just what I needed to hear! Hope you are having a wonderful day! ❤️

  5. msnewleaf says:

    I think everything you do mindfully will give you information and tools to decide how you want to deal with alcohol. It’s your own path. 🤗💕

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